JB Sent this Fine Joke

Too true:

*Subject:* Biker in the News

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into
the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her
jacket
and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her
screaming parents. The biker jumps off his motor cycle, runs to the
cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl,
and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him
endlessly.

A NYT reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker,
says, " Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do
in my whole life."

"Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw
this
little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist from
the New York Times , you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this on
the first page. What motorcycle do you ride and what political
affiliation do you have?"

" A Harley Davidson and I am a Republican. "

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it
indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page:



*BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND

STEALS HIS LUNCH. *

Lion Hug Video

Update: Here is a NatGeo video on a rare Asiatic Lion born in Japan.

I have just noticed that this previous post on the gentlemen who went to see the lion they had raised generated some traffic from the Netherlands, where I would love to travel. They were discussing this video of a woman receiving a hug from her lion who now resides in a zoo (I will place the first video underneath):

Lions Lions Lions

Barbary lions. Cape lions. The skulls of royal lions excavated from the Tower of London's moat, cryptomundo has a post.

I did not know that there was an American Lion.

Reconstruction of the American Lion

Mr. Coleman also has this story story of a Chinese Bigfoot (called a "Yeren") stealing a beer through the window of a moving train.

Yeren art used on

“wanted poster” in China.

It seems the Bigfoot community is not free of the criminal element. This man blames his penchant for pederasty on the experience of having been molested by a Sasquatch.

There is a news video about that...(that Crypto page seems to be stuttering somewhat...)

The Lion Remembers

via Aceofspades

Update (04/04/08): here is a video of a woman receiving a hug from her lion which now resides in a zoo, thank you Netherlanders:

World's Oldest Known Joke

Seems to involve flatulence and sexism. Go figure.

Here are the other 9 of the ten oldest.

Here we see one as a riddle with a bonus for those who have a loathing of lawyers:

3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

Here we see that love has indeed always been blind:

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

Here is one for the teacher/parent in each of us:

9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

Lastly from that list I now know that the reason I have had church giggles at the barber is no longer a credit to my brother's wit:

10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

You never know. The local and wonderful Sam Clemens was ripped off on the Calaveras frog tale through deep and distant time.

(read that if you have a chance, it's wonderful. Yes, I just invoked the silly term "wonderful.")

I read the Twain piece as part of a great little book (The Jumping Frog: In English. Then in French. Then Clawed Back into a Civilized Language Once More by Patient, Unremunerated Toil) I picked up years ago in which he addressed a Frenchman who panned his humorous tail in the context of a horrendous translation.

"Backed me into a corner"

The copyright is out so you would do well to click over and read every last bit of each, dammitsothere.

Trapped with a Lion in a Hurricane

That is a nice story.

The beasts have been previously mentioned here.

On The Television

The Lion in Winter.

Yikes and Ugh.

March lion moon

Catamounts

I have mentioned them before and the mountain lions are here thick as flies!!

"On Saturday, said Mrs Schmidt, Newtown Animal Control confirmed that what she and Hannah suspected — that they had seen a mountain lion. The officer based the confirmation on the paw prints that remained embedded in the ground, even after the lawn was mowed.

"We could actually see the pad and claw marks and the distance between the prints was incredible," wrote Mrs Schmidt in an e-mail she distributed to friends and neighbors."

The Bee ran the story without confirming with animal control, I suppose due to press time issues. Essentially running an email as a news item, which is pretty weak.

Free Tibet Flags

Made in China.

Figures.

Known as the Snow Lion Flag

Introduced in 1912

Banned in mainland China